jonathan pearlman

jonathan pearlman

FINE ART Photography

THE SOUND OF ONE HAND SNAPPING.....

 

Regular listeners to this blog will know that the air dictates everything I do as a photographer. Without it, helium would have nothing to compete against. Billy Blimp would sink to the ground faster than my last gasp.

Vacuum cleaners also need air, otherwise they can't suck. 

What sucks about vacuum cleaners is that they are also trip hazards; the key to avoiding injury is to not fall over one that some idiot has left in the doorway of bedroom. Ignorance is not bliss as Mrs P will attest.

Two weeks after we took out income protection for me as the sole photographer, Mrs P obtained a dinner fork fracture as a result of my stupidity post-carpet clean. Forearm now in a heavy plaster cast, my muse and my creative director has been sidelined and some aerial jobs have been placed on hold.

These are frustrating times indeed - professionally and domestically.

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Talking of frustrating times: once again I recently found myself scouring the 'net for a new laptop. With the elevated mast ready to be installed this week, I ran through a few checks with the equipment. Fashioning a make-shift mast out of 5 tripods, I reached dizzying heights of 5 metres. The camera atop the pan head, the pan head atop a tripod head, gigantic usb cable and pan remote attached to the aforementioned hardware, I sat down in front of my netbook and waited. 

And waited. And waited. And waited.......all worked fine: the pan head panned remotely, the camera fed its views live to the netbook and the tethered software blinked back all available settings. And yet, each image took an eternity to load in. Very much reminiscent of the first moon landing, I seemed to be anchored to a technology that was at once cutting-edge, yet still stuck in the era of  silent movies.

My giant leap requires $$s thrown at faster processing speeds; bigger RAM.

At one moment of madness, I found myself engaged in an online chat with a technology 'expert' kindly provided by Harvey Norman - that bastion of online retail shopping. What, I asked, could you find for me that would suit my requirements but at a ridiculously low budget? 

Finding an Acer Aspire, Mr Norman assured me that this laptop would be perfect for me on such a stupid budget (my words, not his). I broke the news to him that I had just found one for $150 less on ebay. Gobsmacked, he swiftly responded that the computer might be new, it might be cheaper than his store, but I should remember, I was buying it on ebay - and we all know what happens on ebay!

I laughed so hard, I could barely catch my breath.

 

 

 

 

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